
The solution, obviously, was to build my own mini lathe. Of course, 90% of building it is because I want to build one. The other 10% is that I need one.

Disclaimer: I don't know much about lathes and haven't ever used one, but I've done my research and I'm happy to learn by trial and error. I'm well aware I'd get better results by buying a lathe instead of building one. If you're on this forum at all, it's because you'd rather build it than buy it. 'Nuff said.
The planning process was as follows:
1. I need a lathe.
2. I can't afford a normal lathe.
3. But I bet I can make a serviceable (for my purposes) lathe for under $200.
4. Where are my car keys? I'm ready to go to the hardware store.
So... yeah, that's about the extent of the initial planning process. What can I say.
I was initially going to build it along the lines of this Bolt-Together Lathe, until I got to looking at the pipe section in the local hardware store. Those 2" pipe fittings were a little more expensive than I wanted to pay for. Besides that, the store doesn't carry plate steel thick enough AND wide enough to work as the lathe bed.
After perusing the metal section, I decided I'd try a slightly different tack. The 1/2 inch steel rod they carry is quite stiff (according to the ISO "stand on it and see if it bends" test

Here's the schematic I've come up with so far: I'm planning to improve the stiffness of the overall design by bolting the entire assembly tightly to an extremely smooth concrete block. I think the concrete will help prevent a lot of bending and twisting. Even if it doesn't help (but it should) it'll add some mass to the lathe and keep it from sliding around, so I won't have to bolt the thing to a table. Win!
I decided to cut the steel square tube with a hacksaw instead of my angle grinder. A little more finesse is never a bad thing. Pardon the poor picture (cell-phone camera). Anyhow, never ignore the usefulness of a good centre punch; drill bits have a tendency to wander, even if you have a drill press. One of the steel rods, with just enough chamfer to allow it to start in the holes in the steel tube, but still achieve a tight fit. This was about as far as I've gotten as of this evening. I'm leaving the parts as they came from the store until the lathe is almost completely finished. I figure if I give the whole thing a good tight fit, any moving parts (the tailstock sled and the tool carriage) will be nice and snug - but still movable - after I polish everything down.